Good Bye 2019 & Hello 2020
Dear me,
Im sorry for what Ive put you through last year. Im sorry for what I’ve done to your precious life. Im sorry for all the lonely nights. Im sorry for making you believe you weren’t worthy of feeling happy. Im sorry how you felt the pain in your chest and stomach when something really hurt you. I’ve read your long journal pages and im sorry to read that you’re ready to die you don’t deserve to feel this way. Im sorry for hating your body im sorry for hating the way you laughed. Im sorry you had to doubt yourself and most of all im sorry people made you feel like you weren’t enough for their love.
And to all the people in my life,
Im sorry for the person I’ve become, sometimes i keep my feelings to myself because i cant form the words to describe them in. Im sorry for being a burden im sorry for being so insecure and boring. I don’t talk to a lot of you anymore and the saddest part is, we used to talk everyday. Im willing to cut my heart up for you to wear if you wanted to but i feel like not even that would be enough. I just really fucking hate myself and i hate how I’ve depended on you guys for my happiness and i hate myself for begging for time and love. Promise me you’ll never forget the times we spent together.
To my parents,
Im sorry i turned out to be the way i am. You guys gave me the world and i took advantage of your unconditional love and trust. Im sorry for not being as smart as you raised me to be. Mom, you’ve always taught me to think with my brain and not my heart and i did the exact opposite and im so so sorry. Dad, im sorry i went behind your back and did everything you told me not to do. Im sorry i couldn’t make you guys proud. Im sorry I disappointed you guys. Maybe one day I’ll be the person you always wanted me to be but right now im very tired and i cant live like this anymore. Im trying to ignore the pain for you both but its harder than it looks.
Maybe one day i will be fine but as of tonight my heart aches and my eyes cry rivers so please do not speak to me about how happy ill be one day because i dont have the energy to wait.
Dear past,
Happy New Year 2020 everyone! 🎊
God Bless Us ❤️
But thanks god, you gave me a precious gift in the world. My lovely fiance JK and my new family. ❤️
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